


The Mourning

by DelphineCormiersHips



Category: Soccercop - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 08:17:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10895361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelphineCormiersHips/pseuds/DelphineCormiersHips
Summary: Short chapter but oh well





	1. Chapter 1

"The truth is, I didn't really know Beth." Alison said, gripping the edge of the podium as she spoke shakily into the stupid microphone. Everyone was watching her, everyone was analysing her facial expressions, her body language, every single movement. 

"I learned a lot of things from her, yes." She nodded slowly, swallowing dryly. "She.. she was a very giving person." Alison's voice was close to breaking, her eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds as she calmed herself. Every breath she took was shaky, her head was spinning. God what was she thinking when Cosima asked her to prepare a speech. 

"Beth was always headstrong. There wasn't a problem she couldn't fix. Although, everyone knew she was struggling. Y-you could see it in her eyes.." Alison went on, licking her lips as her eyes watered and her small smile faltered before slowly dropping completely. She inhaled slowly before continuing. "..even when she was smiling." Alison's voice broke, she held one of her hands to her mouth, letting the side of her pointer finger press against her lips as her thumb sat under her lower one. This was the best she could do to calm herself as the knuckles on her other hand were slowly turning white from the grip she had on the podium. The brunettes eyes were shut tight for a few seconds before she pulled herself together. 

Alison was a mess for the rest of the ceremony. But of course she did the best she could to appear somewhat okay. Nobody really approached her much, they didn't want to upset her. Everyone knew she wasn't telling the truth about Beth being an acquaintance. 

"Alison, hey." A voice said from behind Alison, causing her to turn around and lower the hand that was against her lips. "Cosima," she gave her a small smile along with a nod, her eyes wandering to the tall blonde standing beside Cosima with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry," Delphine whispered, her brows furrowing. 

Alison waved her hand slightly and shook her head. "No. Its.. it's okay." Alison whispered and swallowed audibly. 

Cosima moved her arm from around Delphine's waist and pulled Alison in for a hug. The tall blonde gently rubbed the back of Alison's left shoulder while she watched the embrace. "We knew how much she meant to you," Cosima mumbled into her other shoulder. "Cosima.." Alison started before being cut off by Cosima pulling away slightly and looking at Alison. "Don't." She said firmly yet quietly. "You don't need to lie to us, Ali." Cosima rubbed Alison's arm before pulling away and leaning into Delphine. 

"I have to go." Alison spoke softly before glancing at them both and walking away. 

"She's not coping." Delphine whispered to Cosima as they both watched the brunette walked off. Cosima nodded and sighed. "Hey, it'll be okay.." Delphine gave Cosima a small smile and rubbed her arm while pulling her closer. 

Meanwhile, Alison was sitting in the restroom with her handbag. She held it tight against her, taking out a small bottle of vodka and unscrewing the lid and sniffling before downing the mouthful and fumbling in her bag for another one. 

"Darling?" Came a voice from outside the stall. "What in gods name are you doing in here?" He asked, leaning against the toilet door on his side. "Not now Felix." Alison replied, gulping down the next small bottle she could get her hands on. 

Felix knocked on the door. "Come on darling, open up." He said softly, folding his arms. The door slowly opened, his eyes almost immediately falling on the sad clone sitting on the toilet seat, vulnerably looking up at him hugging her handbag. "Oh dear," he frowned slightly, stepping inside and kneeling in front of her. "come here" he took the bag off her lap and held her hands. "You can get through this." Felix whispered reassuringly. "Beth wouldn't want you to mope around like this." He looked up at her. 

"I-I know," Alison sobbed, her bottom lip quivering. "I-I just miss her so much." She blurted out, pulling her hands away from Felix's as she cradled her head.


	2. Better drunk then never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but oh well

"Ali, baby.." Beth cooed, brushing a strand of hair behind Alison's ear. "I'm fine," she slurred, stumbling slightly, falling into her lovers arms. 

"Oh shoot!" Alison mumbled. "No. You're definitely not fine." She scolded, pulling Beth to stand straight and make eye contact with her. As if she was scolding a disobedient child. "You can't keep doing this Beth." Alison threw her arms around before they rested on her hips. Her eyebrows raised. 

"Alison," Beth sighed softly, holding her hands over her girlfriends, pulling them from her hips and interlocking their fingers. "Hey.. hey," she whispered, trying to catch Alison's eyes with her own. "Look at me, look at me." She continued to whisper before finally meeting her eyes. "I'm alive aren't I? Hey.. I'm still here." She smiled widely at Alison, giving her hands a small squeeze. 

Alison sighed in defeat, looking down at their hands. "Can we go to bed now?" She whispered back. 

"Of course," Beth pulled away from Alison's hands and cupped her cheeks, stroking them while placing a gentle kiss on her lips and pulling away completely. "I promise I'll be good. I won't come home at ungodly hours." She half joked. Trying to mimic her girlfriends reaction when she first snuck inside, only to meet an angry Alison. 

"Good. Now hurry up." Alison shooed her as they walked to their bedroom. 

Alison opened her eyes, sighing softly and rubbing her eyes. She needed to stop sitting there dwelling on her memories. "I love you," she whispered to herself, her bottom lip falling as her eyes immediately watered. She needed Beth. She needed Beth badly. 

Alison was pulled from her thoughts again by a small knock on her door. "Mummy?" Came a small voice followed by a small girl opening the door. "What's wrong?" She asked sadly after looking up at her mother. 

"Gemma!" Alison stood up quickly and wiped her eyes. "Nothing sweetie, go downstairs." She waved her hands. "I'll be down in a second." They were supposed to be here tomorrow! She told herself before mentally slapping herself. "Okay," she sighed softly and whispered to herself. "I can do this." She whispered and straightened her outfit out before wiping under her eyes and followed her daughter downstairs. 

"Alison!" Her ex husband called when he spotted her walking into the kitchen, pulling Gemma up into his lap. 

"Hello, Donny." She nodded slowly and sat across from him. "You were supposed to be coming tomorrow?" She furrowed her brows. "Mum!" Oscar called from the other room after hearing her voice, he rushed into the kitchen to join everyone, cuddling her side and sitting in her lap.

"We're leaving tomorrow, remember?" He quirked a brow. God she really was losing it.

Alison didn't reply for a few seconds, she was mentally looking back, trying to remember when that was said. "O-oh that's right." She nodded, still having no recollection of that conversation. "Yeah mum!" Oscar chirped. "We're going for a few days!" He filled her in, looking at her over his shoulder with a big grin on his face. Alison smiled at him and cuddled him. 

"Can't you come too mummy?" Gemma pouted from across the table. 

"I can't darling, I have a lot to do here." She pouted with her child, shifting oscar on to one knee and holding her spare hand out for her daughter who instantly climbed out of her fathers lap and rushed to Alison, accepting her offer and cuddling into her. 

Alison kissed both of their head and held them closely. "I love you guys." She said happily. "I love you too" they chirped together, giggling and nuzzling her. They were all she had left. 

They stayed over for a couple more hours. Alison said her goodbyes and went back into her kitchen, leaning against the counter and cradling her head again. She didn't know what to do. It was like the moment she was alone Beth filled her mind. Everywhere she looked in her house screamed Beth. 

Alison pulled her clone phone out of her back jean pocket, scanning through for Cosima's number and dialling it. She ended up downstairs before Cosima even answered. "Alison, what's up?" Cosima asked. Alison picked up her pills off of the small table behind the lounge, she took one out and closed the lid, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder. "Can you come over? Like now?" She pleaded slightly. "I can't be alone." She sniffled, feeling her eyes slowly prick with tears while she placed the small white pill into her mouth, grabbing a wine bottle from under the table on the small shelf and pulling it out, taking a swig and swallowing her tablet. "Oh yeah- yeah of course. We'll be there right away." Cosima hung up first. 

Alison walked upstairs to get a wine glass, she slipped her phone into her pocket and sighed, holding the wine bottle in one hand, by its neck. "Here we go.." she mumbled to herself as she reached the kitchen. Knowing full well that she shouldn't be mixing her pills with Alcohol.


	3. Lesbians and alcohol?

Cosima and Delphine arrived at Alison's twenty minutes ago and all they've been doing since was trying to take Alison's bottle of wine from her. 

"Alison, come on. You know we are only trying to help." Delphine pleaded quietly, knocking on the locked bathroom door. 

"N-no I don't think you are.. you justdontunderstand." Alison slurred from behind the door, taking another swig from her almost empty bottle. 

Delphine knocked again, Cosima beside her, trying to twist the locked handle. "Ali, please." She sighed frustratedly. "We can't help you if you don't open the door." She attempted to coax the brunette out of the bathroom. "We can go for a drive-" Cosima tried again, but cut off by Delphine. 

"And you can talk to us." Delphine added as she cut her girlfriend off. "Just please let us." She sighed and leaned against the wall beside the door. "She will not listen, Cosima." Delphine said in a matter of fact tone. 

"Well I'm not giving up." Cosima mumbled and kept shaking the doorknob. "Ali, seriously. Open the door." 

Alison was perched up on the toilet seat, chugging the rest of her alcohol without a word. "Alison!" Cosima called, slightly worried that she might've passed out. The blonde sighed and stood up again, waiting for the door to be unlocked. 

Once Alison finished her wine she sat the empty bottle on the sink and stumbled to the door, unlocking it and stumbling back slightly when she pulled it open, her back coming in contact with the sink basin to keep her up. "See" she smiled. "I'm all fine and dandy." She closed her eyes and grinned. 

"Merde." Delphine whispered under her breath as the two women stepped inside. "Hey, hey, hey." Cosima whispered, beckoning Alison closer with her hand while she approached her. "You don't look so good dude." She furrowed her brows and sat her down on the edge of the tub. "How much have you had?" Delphine questioned, sitting diagonally across from the two, on the toilet seat. 

"Liiike," Alison held all five fingers up, her other hand in Cosima's. "This many?" She questioned as her fingers kept changing from three, to one, back to three and then to five. "Wait." She mumbled and turned her hand to herself, looking at her fingers as she tried to work out the numbers. 

Cosima sighed and looked at Delphine before rubbing Alison's back with her spare hand. "It's okay," she whispered. "Let's get you some water and take you to bed? How does that sound?" Cosima smiled and attempted to stand with her, causing Delphine to stand instantly and hold Alison upright with Cosima. "I think that's a wonderful idea." Delphine agreed. 

Alison shrugged, weighing up her options before nodding. "I mean I guess" she sighed and looked around the room as she licked her lips. "Can I have alcoholic water?" She asked happily, causing both women to laugh and shake their heads. "Non, not today." Delphine answered. "Yeaaah, not for a while." Cosima added with another chuckle as they placed her on the bed. "Uh, Delphine." Cosima said softly. "Could you please get her a glass of water and a xanax." Delphine nodded quickly and walked out of the room, she fumbled around the kitchen for a while before finding a clear container filled with all sorts of pills. She scanned through until she found what she was looking for. 

Meanwhile upstairs, Alison was opening up to Cosima about Beth. "I know, I know. I don't know how you're coping Ali." Cosima said softly, looking down at Alison's hand and playing with her fingers. "I-I mean. I miss her too." She nodded slowly. "A-and.." 

Delphine slowly made her way upstairs, not knowing what she was walking in on, but stopped near the door once she heard her name. 

"If I lost Delphine.. I wouldn't." She inhaled sharply before continuing. "..I wouldn't know what to do.. and I understand that it's hard for you but I-I'll be here for you." She sniffled and pulled her clone into an embrace as they nuzzled one another's necks. 

Delphine walked in the room slowly. Her heels slowly yet calmingly clicking against the floorboards, causing the two women to pull away. Alison sniffled and smiled at Delphine. "Thank you." She held her hands out to accept the things from Delphine. 

Cosima looked up at Delphine, her eyes watering. Delphine frowned at her after giving Alison her water and xanax. "Mon bébé." She whispered and bent over, taking Cosima's glasses off and grabbing a tissue from the bedside table beside Cosima. Delphine rested a palm flatly against her girlfriends knee as she placed one of the arms from the glasses into her mouth to hold it as she wiped the tissue under the smaller scientists eyes. Passing the tissue to Cosima and taking the glasses from her mouth. "There." She gave Cosima a small smile and kissed her temple. Before rubbing her shoulder and turning her attention back to Alison. 

"So, I think.." Delphine started off as she took the glass from Alison and placed it beside Cosima on the table. "..that you should go to bed." She smiled and started to rub Alison's shoulder instead. "Okay? Cosima and I will check up on you later." She smiled and pulled Cosima gently to stand. 

Cosima let Delphine pull her up and then hugged Alison before helping her into bed. "I love you," she whispered to her sister before wrapping an arm around Delphine's waist and letting her girlfriend lead her out of the house.


	4. Two lovers

Delphine closed the book she was reading and looked over at Cosima with her laptop over her lap. She was truly beautiful. But she was hurting. And as much as she relentlessly told Delphine that Beth's suicide didn't hurt her as much as Delphine assumed. Delphine was right. And she knew she was. 

Cosima was intently staring at her computer screen but looked up when she felt the blonde staring. "What?" She furrowed her brows slightly. "What is it?" She asked again, looking at Delphine. "Nothing, amour." Delphine replied. "I just do not want to see you so.." Delphine bit her lip as she thought of the correct term. "Glum." 

"Delphine," Cosima sighed and took the laptop from her lap, sitting it beside her and walking over to her girlfriend, taking the book out of her hands and sitting in her lap on the arm chair. "I'm fine, really." She reassured her lover, her hand playing with the curls framing Delphine's beautiful face. "I just do not think you are." Delphine sighed. Her voice laced with worry as she stroked the brunettes forearm softly and slowly. 

Cosima expression softened as she tucked curls behind Delphine's ear. "Well I'm here and so are you." Was all the smaller scientist replied with. "Oui, but one of us is sad." Delphine added and kissed Cosima's nose. "Talk to me." She coaxed.

Cosima sighed linked their fingers. "I miss Beth." She confessed. The small brunette couldn't keep it in any longer, Beth and Cosima were the first to be aware. They met before anyone else met. They came together first. They tried to help each other. /they/ found Alison. They started this. They wanted to save the sisters.. well at first. And now for what? For Beth to die? 

Cosima frowned and pressed her forehead against Delphine's temple. "I didn't think it would be this hard. I could see she was getting worse. I didn't think anything of it of course. Stupid me." Cosima mumbled and rolled her eyes. "Non. Now you listen to me Cosima," Delphine said sternly, making Cosima look at her. "You may make mistakes or do things that you personally do not agree with. But," Delphine exhaled. "But that doesn't make you stupid." She quilted a brow. "I mean look at what you have accomplished for your sisters, eh?" She gave her lover a small smile and nudged her lightly. Cosima nodded and fiddled with her own fingers. 

"Now, how about a wonderful afternoon snack?" Delphine grinned and made Cosima stand before getting up after her and walking towards the kitchen. "Prepared by yours truly." She chuckled and scrunched her nose up as she done so, causing her girlfriend to giggle. Cosima found Delphine cute, and it was times like this were she was very appreciative of the tall French blonde. 

Delphine placed a chopping board on the small island bench and grabbed flower after all the ingredients were placed in front of her and Cosima joined her side, bumping Delphine's hip with her own. Delphine laughed and grinned as an idea came to her mind. She put her hand in the small packet of flower and pinched some between her fingers, wiping her finger from Cosima's forehead and down to the end of her nose. "Magnifique." She teased and pulled away quickly as Cosima gasped and grabbed what was closest to her, which happened to be an egg. "That's how you wanna play, huh?" She grinned at the blonde and slowly trod around the counter. 

Delphine carefully backed away with her hands up in defeat. Smiling at her girlfriend, happy she was now in a better mood. Even if only temporary. Delphine could deal with her mood swings forever. 

Cosima held the egg up. "Cmere babe." She grinned evilly and grabbed Delphine's forearm, pulling her close and squeezing the egg above the blondes gorgeous curls, watching the shell break and the contents on this inside ooze out onto the blonde curls under them. Delphine squeaked and pulled away. "Merde Cosima!" She squeezed her eyes shut and reached up to lightly poke at her hair. "Vous little brat." She raised an eyebrow, challenging her lover. 

Alison however, had woken up and was now working out to yet another workout disc. Working out was the only thing at the time she could think of to dismiss all her thoughts about Beth, and about anything. She was solely focused on the screen, doing everything she was instructed to do. 

It was as soon as she finished, a pain shot through her stomach, causing her to hunch over in pain and cry out. The fragile brunette wrapped her arms around her stomach as she squeezed her eyes shut. Her stomach ached with a throbbing pain she had never felt before. "Nnngggg." She whimpered and sat in front of the couch, leaning her back against it and looking up to the ceiling to calm her breathing. "Fish sticks." She muttered angrily. 

After a few minutes the pain slowly started to die down but in came Beth, memories flooding her mind. She closed her eyes and tried to think of her happy place, but /Beth/ was her happy place. The clones eyes opened slowly as her breathing evened, she imagined Beth walking through the door, smiling down at her adoringly and holding her arms out. Alison stood slowly as her breathing picked up again and tears that she could be being herself to hold in started to stream down her face. 

Alison screamed and started to knock photo frames down and throw little porcelain collectables around the living room. She kicked the side of the sofa and winced, hating the idea afterwards as her toe started to ache. "Shit shit shit shit" she cried out angrily. She didn't know how to express her emotions. She was starting to feel angry, angry that Beth took her life and left Alison behind, craving her. Alison started to sob uncontrollably and slide down the wall, her butt hitting the ground as she hugged her knees and cried.


End file.
